Past quotes and observations:

Zen and the Art of Guru Meditation.

My car goes zero to sixty ... eventually.

This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. If this was a real emergency, you'd see a lot of people running around screaming and jumping through windows.

Some hockey games end up becoming mass brawls. At that point, it might as well be boxing on ice ... which I guess is the adult equivalent of Disney on Ice ... without the mouse.

A sharp wit is better than a dull mind.